They say that classic games like Chess and Checkers are "solved"; they've been played for so long, by so many people, that a route to victory can be calculated from any game state. Even more complex games with thousands of variables, given enough computing power, can be solved. 

But I contend that Pass The Parcel is an unsolvable game. If you're not familiar, go and find its CUE card (available now in today's Quarter Pounder pack), come back here and let's talk game theory.

Pass the Parcel's tempo is dictated by two elements - the music-stopper, and the speed at which each participant passes the parcel to the next participant. Anyone creating a computer simulation to solve games of Pass the Parcel would need to model the dispositions of every human being in that room.

This writer can tell you, from experience, that you would need several million quantum processors to accurately represent the - shall we charitably say - fraught headspace of a parent turning the music on and off at a kids party. 

And the children themselves - good luck trying to predict what they'll do! They're just as likely to pass the parcel off to the next player very slowly so the music might stop on them, as they are to take the parcel off to the soft play area and Gronk spike that thing into the ball pit. Throw in spontaneous temper tantrums and toilet breaks and we're looking at an imperceivably colossal possibility space. 

We might someday get to the stage where the human mind is accurately modelled to the degree that we can predict games of Pass the Parcel. Indeed, it should be our priority when technology gets that advanced.